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tupacabra:

introductory paragraph of my essay:

image

(via pizza)

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

(via subexistence)

popularboyfriend:

guy:

*slides you $20* pls stop ignoring me

hey look a $20 bill

(Source: guy, via funneestuff)

cashcutie:

when you n ur babe standing on rocks

image

(via funneestuff)

h0odrich:

Shoutout to every black and white cat named oreo

(via funneestuff)

cancerousmexicanfetusrapewhistle:

One time when I was little I ran away from home because I was upset but I just took left turns because I wasnt allowed to cross the street so I ended up back at home it was really embarrassing 

(Source: caseyanthonyofficial, via pizza)

urtube:

How long after arriving at someone’s house is it appropriate to ask for the WiFi password?

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

musedotmuoffcial:

Things that unite Europe

  • European Union
  • Eurovision

(via thathilariousasian)

themeeg:

Look, I’m not suggesting anything, I’m just saying it’s been a while since an Australian Prime Minister died suspiciously. That’s all.

(via wander-tsul)